Why does your Body act so…Weird?

Hey, smarty pants, are you up for an adventure? No, not to get lunch. I’m about to shrink myself down and embark on an expedition to discover weird, bodily substances. That’s right, through the magic of podcasting and narration, you’ll get to join me on my yuckiest, gooiest, what the heckiest adventure yet.

You ready to explore the grossest of gross? Good, but first, I just need to grab my friend, Miss Gusting. Ew, what did I just step in?

Oh, hey trusty narrator, all set for our gross, bodily adventure. Yeah.

but I think it might have already started. I seem to have stepped in something squishy on your porch.

Oh, sometimes I like to hock a loogie when I’m sitting out here. A loogie? You know, when you cough up snot from the back of your throat and spit it out. Did you know the really thick snot made in your lungs is called phlegm?

And once you spit it out, it’s called sputum. But I prefer saying loogie.

Yuck! That’s so gross.

Mmm, you sure you’re up for this adventure, narrator?

Yeah, I just have to mentally prepare myself.

Everyone has their own internal gross -out meter. You know right away when something is too gross for you to continue looking at, tasting, or smelling. It’s why some people can smell rotten milk and barely react, while others are ready to…

Can we please not play that sound again?

There’s a name for your gross -out meter. It’s called Disgust Sensitivity. Ooooh! Mine is pretty much non -existent, which means I can handle anything yucky without feeling disgusted. But today’s expedition is definitely gonna test your Disgust Sensitivity.

Hey!

I’m the trusty narrator, I can handle it.

Well just in case, if anything gets too gross, just hit the blech button. Same goes for you smarty pants listening. If something is too gross, just shout out blech.

Got it. What do you think, smarty pants? Is your disgust sensitivity low, like Miss Gustings? Or high, like… Mine. We’re about to find out. you

Okay, Trustee, shrink us down so we can check out all those gross things going on inside our bodies.

Okay, but first I need you to sign the usual waiver so you don’t sue me in case we can’t get back to normal size.

And I’m gonna need you to sign this waiver so you don’t sue me in case you get so grossed out you puke, or faint, or both.

Both waivers have been signed. Now it’s time to shrink down and get another whiff of science on.

Who’s smarted? Who’s smarted? Who’s smart? Is it you? Is it me? Is it science? Or history? Listen up! Everyone, we make smarting! Lots of fun on Who’s Smarted!

Hey parents, are you looking for ways to take care of your own mental health while caring for those around you? If so, check out How to Be a Better Human. Each week on How to Be a Better Human, comedian Chris Duffy sits down with an expert to talk about the realistic and often unexpected ways that you can improve your life.

This show has everything from an episode with Dr. Becky about how to repair relationships when you’ve made a mistake, to how to set boundaries both with your kids and your parents, and even a deep dive on why it’s okay for your house to be messy sometimes if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

And more great episodes come out every Monday. Find out how to be a better human wherever you get your podcasts. All right, smarty pants, you know what disgust is, right? It’s that feeling that comes over you, whether you want it or not, that just says gross, and it motivates you to close your eyes, hold your breath, or run away.

When scientists tested what humans find disgusting, they discovered something surprising. One of the things that grosses humans out the most is humans. Well, not everything about humans, mostly human bodily substances.

You know, the fluids, goopy stuff that’s made by your body and occasionally exits your body. I’m sure you can name a few. Go ahead, shout out some gross body stuff. Ready? Go. Yep. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Oh, yuck.

Oh, I’m hearing boogers and snot, spit, poop, uh -huh. All excellent gross outers.

Today we’re skipping past poop and pee and going straight to the bottom. No, not that bottom. Your toes.

Toes? What’s so gross about toes? Flash.

lights on. We’re going in. Inside a toe? No, between the toes. Yep, there it is. Who wants some toe jam?

Ugh, smarty pants, have you heard of toe jam? Toe jam is any substance that forms between your toes. So what substance could accumulate between your toes? Let’s consider the obvious. Cheese, leaves and branches, dirt or sand, dry skin flakes, lint from your socks.

Of course, sock lids is just soft pieces of sock that have broken off and nestled between your toes. That’s not necessarily a gross thing on its own, but add some moist foot sweat and sticky feet smell and…

Sorry, I was just testing my black button.

Sure, what else can you tell us?

Toe jam is pretty harmless, but if bacteria gets mixed in there, it can be the source of toe trouble. Ever heard of tinea pedis? What about athlete’s foot? The term athlete’s foot refers to a foot fungus you might get from walking around barefoot in a gym locker room or a swimming pool area.

You know, places where you’d find athletes. Sweaty feet are normal, but if your sweaty feet are walking around a space where the tinea fungus is, they can pick it up. And then if your sweaty feet are trapped in a dark enclosed space, like inside your socks, for too long, the fungi can thrive.

That means stink city when you finally take those socks off. But it also means a potential infection. Athlete’s foot can be cured pretty simply with powders and ointments, but washing your feet well and often, especially between your toes, can help you avoid fungus foot.

Excellent. Next up, your belly button. Whether your belly button is an innie or an outie, lint, skin flakes, dirt, and oil can collect inside your belly button cavity or little crevices where the skin folds.

Oops, sorry, I sat on my button by mistake. And speaking of buttons, the simple solution to avoiding things accumulating in your belly button is simply, you guessed it, clean out your navel. When you’re taking a shower or bath, be sure to swish some soap around your belly button.

If you don’t, that little space can also develop an infection, collect bacteria, or just start to stink.

I’m proud of you, Trustee. You’re handling this well so far.

Thanks, Ms. Gusting. Coming from you, that means a lot.

And you know what rhymes with lot? Snot. Of course. Are we headed to the nose? Not yet. We’ll get to the nose. But you might be surprised to learn that mucus is actually all over the inside of your head, oozing out of every possible space.

Smartypants, see if you can guess where we’re headed next. It’s the place where mucus seeps out and dries into little snot nuggets. Is it your eyes, your ears, or between your ears?

teeth. Snot nuggets. Okay, maybe this isn’t as easy as I thought, but I do have an answer. What about you, smarty pants? Hold that thought. We’ll find out together right after this break. Hola. Bonjour.

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Again, go to squarespace .com backslash smarted to save 10%. Thanks! Now back to Who Smarted. Okay, where were we? Snot, snot, snot. Ah, yes, my friend Miss Gusting and I were just discussing how snot, aka mucus, shows up in more places than just your nose.

Yep, mucus.

This is everywhere, including your eyes.

Yep, if you guessed that the crust that shows up in the corners of your eyes after a deep sleep is mucus, you’re right. Crusties, eye crust, eye boogers, eye sugar, sleepies, eye goop, and eye gung are all slang for a substance technically known as room.

But not like living room or bedroom. This room is spelled R -H -E -U -M and it’s G -R -O -S -S.

All room isn’t gross, it’s just mucus that’s secreted from tiny glands at the edge of your eyelids while you sleep. But did you know it also happens while you’re awake?

Wait, then why don’t I feel like I’m awake because

Your eyelids blink that stuff away. But if your eyelids are still for a long time, like when you’re asleep, it doesn’t get swatted away. Instead, it collects at the corners of your eyes. They’re very salty.

I might sprinkle some crusties on my popcorn later. Why, you’re ringing the alarm? I didn’t even talk about wets, not yet. Blah, blah, blah. Well, so sensitive.

Sorry, this is just getting a little gross, but I know your body makes a lot of mucus for a reason. It sure does.

Smarty Pants, beside your eyes and nose, where else can mucus be found? Well, if mucus drains from your nose on the inside of your head, where would it go? Did you say, your throat? Next stop, the throat.

Everyone has mucus that drains from the nose to the back of the throat. And just like the mucus that’s produced in your eyes, you hardly notice it. Just like you blink it away without noticing it, you unconsciously swallow the mucus in your throat.

Ah, but sometimes that throat mucus accumulates because of an infection or allergies. You might have heard that referred to as post -nasal drip. Ah. Okay, Ms. Gusting, what’s next?

But we’re not even close to done with mucus look closer inside the throne

Hm, I see Mucus collecting in their tonsils. Good, I’ll…

And what are tonsils for?

Well, your tonsils are believed to be another form of defense against bacteria and infection. But people who’ve had their tonsils removed aren’t more likely to get infections, so the function of tonsils is unclear.

What we know is, tonsils are made of soft tissue, and unless you’ve had them removed, they are small, invisible humps way in the back of your mouth, on either side of the back of your tongue. Wow.

You know you’re tonsils, Trusty, but you left out the best part. Tonsil tissue has divots in it, little nooks or craters that can collect and trap. You guessed it, Lucas. But because your tonsils are way in the back of your mouth near your throat, the stuff they collect might not be as obvious as your nose boogers, eye crust or loogies.

When mucus and food bits bind together and collected your tonsil craters, they’re called tonsiloliths. Or more commonly, tonsilstones. Tonsilstones might cause bad breath or maybe a sore throat, but they’re nothing to be worried about.

Maybe, but for those of us who don’t want gunk collecting in our tonsils, it helps to drink lots of water throughout the day, gargle after meals, and maintain good oral hygiene. And if tonsil stones are large or painful, talk to a doctor.

All right, last up, the ears.

Let me guess what this squishy stuff is. Earwax?

Actually, this amber -colored substance isn’t wax, but it can have a waxy feel to it, or it could be dry and flaky. Its actual name is cerumen, a combination of substances like sweat, skin cells, and sebum, an oil secreted from the skin.

Oh, that’s the same stuff that sometimes builds up under your skin and forms a pimple. I love popping pimples.

both.

What we call earwax is made inside your ear canal, near the bendy outside part of your ear. Earwax protects your ear canal and your eardrum at the end of that canal. Basically, it’s like a sticky trap for dirt or germs or anything else it wants to prevent from getting into your ears.

Nicely done, trusty. Yep. Okay, I think I’ve had all the gross body stuff I can handle for one day. Let’s unshrink ourselves and get some lunch.

I think I’ll have a pita butter and toe jam sandwich.

Ooh, a pizza with anchovies.

And trophies?

A long -distance shout -out to Mikael in Johannesburg, South Africa, who wrote to tell us, I learn a lot from Who Smarted and I share it with my family and friends. I love the interesting lessons. Aww, well, we love how much you love smarting with us.

Thanks, smarty pants! This episode, Gross Body Stuff, was written by Jenna Hoban and voiced by Jenna Hoban and Jerry Kolber. Technical direction and sound design by Josh Hahn. Who Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios.

Our associate producer is Max Kamaski. The theme song is by Brian Suarez, with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis. Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Kolber.

This has been an Atomic Entertainment Production.

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