Get ready to giggle and groan (in a good way)—because these Halloween jokes are so funny, they’re scary! Perfect for kids from 1st to 6th grade, these spooky (but silly!) jokes are just the treat you need this October. Whether you’re sharing laughs at a Halloween party, telling jokes during recess, or reading them at home in your costume, this collection of 80 jokes will bring out the monster-sized chuckles in everyone. Warning: You might laugh your skeleton off!
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Answer: They don’t have the guts!
2. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Answer: Wrap music!
3. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Answer: I-scream!
4. Why didn’t the vampire have any friends?
Answer: Because he was a pain in the neck!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite!
6. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Answer: It lifts their spirits!
7. What do witches put on their bagels?
Answer: Scream cheese!
8. Why did the zombie go to school?
Answer: He wanted to improve his “dead”-ucation!
9. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Answer: Because of all the coffin!
10. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Answer: Spare ribs!
11. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
Answer: They’re afraid they’ll unwind!
12. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Answer: A blood orange!
13. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Answer: Because you can see right through them!
14. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Answer: A bloodhound!
15. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
Answer: A plumpkin!
16. Why did the skeleton go to the dance alone?
Answer: He had no body to go with!
17. What game do ghosts love to play?
Answer: Hide and shriek!
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite subject in school?
Answer: Spelling!
19. What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
Answer: A sandwich!
20. What’s a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Answer: Wrap!
21. Why do vampires always seem sick?
Answer: They’re always coffin!
22. What room does a ghost not need?
Answer: A living room!
23. What kind of makeup do witches wear?
Answer: Mas-scare-a!
24. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
Answer: With a pumpkin patch!
25. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Answer: Boo-jeans!
26. Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid to cross the road?
Answer: It had no guts!
27. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Answer: Vein-illa!
28. Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating?
Answer: His heart wasn’t in it!
29. How do monsters like their eggs?
Answer: Terri-fried!
30. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
Answer: The roller-ghoster!
31. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Answer: Day-scare!
32. Why are monsters great at math?
Answer: Because they love to count Dracula!
33. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Answer: Ghoul-ash!
34. What did the skeleton say before dinner?
Answer: “Bone appetit!”
35. What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Answer: Count Quackula!
36. What does a zombie say after a joke?
Answer: “That’s dead funny!”
37. Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?
Answer: They’re afraid they’ll fly off the handle!
38. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?
Answer: Wrap music, of course!
39. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Answer: Tickle its funny bone!
40. Where do vampires keep their money?
Answer: In a blood bank!
41. Why did the vampire flunk art class?
Answer: Because he could only draw blood!
42. What do ghosts wear when it rains?
Answer: Boo-ts!
43. Why do mummies make good employees?
Answer: Because they’re always wrapped up in their work!
44. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Answer: Hex-agonometry!
45. Why do zombies make good baseball players?
Answer: They’re great at catching flies!
46. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Answer: Broommates!
47. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
Answer: The living room!
48. What kind of key opens a haunted house?
Answer: A spoo-key!
49. Why was the ghost a great cheerleader?
Answer: She had a lot of spirit!
50. What do monsters use to keep their breath fresh?
Answer: Goblin mints!
51. What did the pumpkin say to the pie?
Answer: “You complete me!”
52. What’s a werewolf’s favorite exercise?
Answer: Howling lunges!
53. Why don’t witches like to walk?
Answer: They prefer to fly!
54. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Answer: Boo-berry pie!
55. How do you write a letter to a ghost?
Answer: Use invisible ink!
56. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Answer: Because biting necks was just a pain!
57. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Answer: Fangsgiving!
58. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Answer: Boo-berries!
59. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Answer: Rice Creepies!
60. Where do witches park their brooms?
Answer: In the broom closet!
61. What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
Answer: A dead-i bear!
62. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of clothing?
Answer: Wrap-around skirts!
63. Why don’t monsters ever get into arguments?
Answer: They don’t want to make a scene!
64. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
Answer: The trom-bone!
65. What’s the best way to talk to a monster?
Answer: From far, far away!
66. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Answer: A hoblin’ goblin!
67. What’s a bat’s favorite game?
Answer: Bat-minton!
68. What kind of boat does a vampire travel in?
Answer: A blood vessel!
69. What did one ghost say to the other?
Answer: “Do you believe in people?”
70. What’s a werewolf’s favorite hobby?
Answer: Moon-watching!
71. Why don’t ghosts ever lie?
Answer: Because they’re too transparent!
72. What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Answer: The “grim sweeper!”
73. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Answer: Ghoul-aid!
74. What do witches drive?
Answer: Broom-mobiles!
75. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: To get to the body shop!
76. How do ghosts send letters?
Answer: Through the ghost office!
77. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Answer: Because he wanted a light snack!
78. What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a teacher?
Answer: Lots of howling homework!
79. What kind of monster is the best dancer?
Answer: The boogieman!
80. What’s a witch’s favorite exercise?
Answer: Spell-ups!
A Spook-tacular Ending
Halloween is the perfect time for costumes, candy, and creepy-cute laughs! These kid-friendly Halloween jokes are sure to keep the giggles going long after the trick-or-treating ends. Whether you’re a student, parent, or teacher, share these jokes for a frightfully fun way to celebrate the season. Print them out, tell one each morning in class, or drop a few in your Halloween party invitations—because there’s nothing scary about a good laugh!
